As the school holidays have come to an end, families across the country have been preparing for a new school term. Ironing uniforms, finishing homework, and routines are being re-established. For children, the start of term often brings excitement and nerves in equal measure. For separated parents, however, the return to school can present additional challenges, particularly when trying to co-parent across two households.
At Lamb Brooks, our Family Law Team works closely with separated and divorced parents every year. We understand that while you may not agree on every decision, putting your children’s best interests first is what matters most. To help make the “back to school” period a little smoother, here are some practical tips:
- Communication is Key
Clear communication between parents is essential. Sharing information about school events, homework or issues helps reduce misunderstandings and stress for your child. If direct communication is difficult, consider creating a Parenting Plan to set out responsibilities and expectations. Some parents also find that email or co-parenting apps, such as Our Family Wizard or 2 Homes, provide a more structured, less reactive way to communicate.
- Support Their Emotions
Children are often resilient, but some may struggle with changes in routine or the ongoing effects of separation. If you notice signs of anxiety, reach out to the school’s ELSA (Emotional Literacy Support Assistant) or pastoral team. They can provide support within the school and keep you informed about your child’s well-being.
- Present a Unified Front
From assemblies and sports days to school plays and parents’ evenings, children take pride in having both parents involved in their school life. Even if you find co-parenting difficult, try to set differences aside at these moments. Seeing a united front can help your child feel secure and supported.
- Plan Ahead
Organisation makes everything easier. Decide early on who will buy uniforms, equipment or pay for clubs. Agree on who will do drop-offs and pick-ups, and who will arrange childcare if needed. Early discussions allow time to negotiate calmly and helps avoid any last-minute panic.
- Keep the School Informed
If there are sensitive family circumstances, a court order, or safeguarding concerns, ensure the school is aware. Provide them with a clear contact list and ask for both parents to be included in email distribution lists. Schools are experienced in supporting children from separated families and can help maintain consistency.
- Choosing Future Schools
School choices can be a source of disagreement. Consider your child’s preferences, strengths, travel arrangements and the practicalities of each option. If you struggle to reach an agreement, legal advice or mediation may be helpful in finding the best way forward.
- Consistency Between Homes
Children benefit from routine. Where possible, try to maintain similar rules across both households, whether that’s bedtime, homework expectations or screen time limits. A consistent approach helps children feel secure and avoids confusion.
When Co-Parenting Becomes Difficult
If communication is breaking down, mediation can provide a safe, structured space to resolve issues. A trained mediator can help you focus on solutions and reduce conflict. For more complex situations, Shuttle Mediation allows each parent to remain in separate rooms, with the mediator moving between you.
If mediation is not suitable or fails to reach an agreement, court proceedings may be necessary. In such cases, a judge will make a decision based on what is in the best interests of your child.
Alternatively, if mediation is not appropriate for your situation or you fail to come to an agreement, then you can apply to the courts, where a family judge would decide the best option for your child.
Going through a separation or divorce when children are involved can be a distressing time. If you need legal assistance, then please get in touch with our specialist Family Lawyers on 01256 844888.
Our understanding team has experience dealing with a wide range of family law matters, including separation agreements, divorce, child matters, and injunctions.